So, once in a while I’ve been sharing a few thoughts regarding my bi-polar journey on Facebook. If your interested in that or other random tidbits of a rather uneventful life you can follow me there. But my good friend Janice suggested I should share the note on my blog here so that the one or two readers I possibly have left here might get a peak into something they probably don’t care about anyway. But that’s what most of the internet is anyway, right?
Here’s the post from this morning:
Bi-polar update: I’ve shared my journey in this before, and at least a couple people let me know they appreciated it and so I thought I would provide an update. Hope its not tmi.
Almost exactly a year ago I started a med change because I needed to go off the meds I had been on for 10+ years for health reasons. It’s been a difficult process and we have tried a few different things. Made what I hope is a close to final adjustment last week. I think things are reasonably well, there is nothing like the up-down cycles that I had been experiencing. Yet the affects are still there, may be with me the rest of my life, no idea. Here is what “stability” looks like for me:
This morning, I have sent several messages/emails, talked to a few people, have a few more planned conversations for the day running around in my mind, and I’m not really focusing on the work I need to be doing. It’s not that the other stuff isn’t important (for example – my mom’s health, an incredibly inspiring conversation on faith this morning, thanks DavidCheryl Mishler). The issue is I am having a hard time focusing on the task I had scheduled for the day – getting ready for a tax meeting this week. I’m even writing this too long Facebook post.
I didn’t really notice it until I was talking a lot to Marci when I probably should have already left the house and got started on work. She asked why I was so quiet at breakfast yesterday morning… and I realized she was exactly right (hate it when that happens!). Yesterday was a good day, had kept some friends from Illinois overnight, had the first niece in Marci’s family get married, enjoyed the day very much. But from a brain chemistry standpoint it was just different, I was quieter, there was less going on in my head, in many ways it was much more peaceful. Today, my brain is working overtime.. and there really seems little I can do about it. If this is stability, I think I can probably live with it – as long as those around me can. But for anyone that thinks mental health is just “in your head”, I beg to differ!